Saturday, July 24, 2010

Rachael is coming to see me...

Summer is here. I am having lots of company and meeting new friends.

Someone asked me are you ready to date? I am. I am so lonesome. Lonesome for a person to talk to that cares about me. A person who shares intimate conversations with... A man friend that likes to go to church and meet new people. One that is friendly and likes conversation. Someone that will go to see girlie flicks and I in turn would go see manly man flicks...

I am not ready to be married or in a serious relationship. So ..I ask is it okay to have a male friend? I am going into 8 months without my husband who I miss so much. I love him. Just because I am ready to date does not mean I do not love my husband.

We talked about that long before he died. He wanted me to go out and have fun. Not sit here and feel sorry for myself.

Which I do several times a week...feel sorry for myself.

I have had such good care from my church family...I seem to fit into all different groups of friends. I am most grateful for that. My gym friends make up the slack...

Now my sweet granddaughter is on her way..."Mema" she texted..if I had some gas money I would come to see you."
So what am I to do with that?

Well, I slid a little gas money into her checking account. I am excited she is coming. I will love her being here.

My preacher said for the next few months I am to read my bible daily...exercise and eat right and involve yourself with friends and family. Do not make any major decisions...like moving. Selling any property.

I have slowly over the last several months cleaned out his closet and gave away his clothes. Sold his truck. Cleaned the storage unit out...why did we keep that thing for 7 years. Nothing in there was worth the $6,000 we spent.

This past week I and a dear friend, Janet, took the wallpaper down in the kitchen. I am re-painting and adding new hardware.

Making a new life.

Spending time with friends. Going on a bike ride in Vermont for the "Three Rivers Tour" in September and dreading the holiday season.


I still have "Grief Bursts" I just start crying. I start thinking about my sweet man and wonder how did it happen so fast. I love him and miss him so much.

"Busy-ness" helps. So I try to stay real busy...and look forward to meeting new people and friends.
Tonight I am eating dinner with Helen who just lost a brother. I am so sad for her. She has no church family.
But, for now, Rachael is coming; my little "Alabama Sophmore" who I am so proud of - she is coming to see me. Smile here!

No comments:

Post a Comment